I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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