Jerry, you need to find god
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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