on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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