i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
