I wannas sexs uuuuu
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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