i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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