Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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