people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
