Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I supernannyed him into submission
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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