I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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