haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize