i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
