If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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