Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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