his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
