Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My vagina just clenched in fear
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
