I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do vagina's smell?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
