He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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