the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
