your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
