Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize