does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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