Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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