If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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