just come out here and I will go home with you...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
