If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
as a side note pls kill me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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