You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
