9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
