I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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