She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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