Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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