omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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