I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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