I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
