im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
