At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
