I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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