His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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