Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
