doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
