I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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