Responsibility does not care about your dick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
