How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
