Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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