You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I will pee on everything he values.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
