so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
