can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
