Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
