i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
