I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
