I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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