i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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