Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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