pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think a kid would responsible me up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
