Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
