God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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