We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
