i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
