is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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