forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My vagina is officially offended.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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