It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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