"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
