I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
