I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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