Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize