How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
