I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
