She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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